Remember as mentioned in last issue of Lovelines that you must know when dating a married man, it is not a picnic or carnival show. You can only sneak around. It entails restrictions, including giving up part of you and openly expressing your emotions to friends and family members. You don't find him when you need him most. You can't have him all to yourself. You may also be stigmatized. He controls and conducts the relationship. Your only choice is to accept or not.

If you are waiting for your turn, think again. If he doesn't leave his wife for you, you get heart-broken and dispirited because you don't feel worthy enough. If he leaves his wife for you, you will live with the guilt of being a party to what has destroyed a family. You can't forgive yourself for ruining other people's lives. Either way, you lose. In fact, research clearly indicates that majority of women with married lovers have pain, anguish, despair, loss of self-esteem, depression, betrayal and loneliness.

Loving a married man then becomes pointless. Should that be the case, all these are what you should think of before accepting to open your gate of consolation and emotion for any married man to enter when it comes to having an affair or love sharing. In a clearer tone put many things relating to relationship into consideration before you spread your two legs for any man, not only married one, to enter.

Therefore, if your lover is married, accept today that it is time to move and take charge of your life. Don't put your life on hold for a married man because you deserve better unless you got no bearing or no your worth or don't want integrity and honor.

No matter how you want to justify your present state, the fact is, you are harming yourself and your family, him and his family. Emotions affect lives.

It is damaging, destructive, painful, time wasting, demeaning and misery when it is not as you plan it. Today many women are facing different emotional pains in the society but if we are to look into it keenly it mostly cause by two parties. The first party is parents due to their wrong selections of suitors for their teenage female children because of one thing or the other. Secondly ladies themselves because of their love for materials and money that will make them have nothing to do with a young man that is struggling to make an end to meet.

It is also important to know that what goes around comes around. Do you want to be married and have children one day? If your marriage were in trouble, would you want somebody to help or destroy it for you? Remember that a woman prayer of family expansion is not to have a rival or partner that she will share her husband with.

Don't do what you don't want others to do to you. For every married man you see, there are thousands of single men who are better. I am not saying that married men are bad but there is always a comma as mentioned before. The most important relationship you can ever have is one you have with yourself and with one you can have to yourself. Such relationship you will have the control of it. Remember that that married man you admires or admires you is not for anything but because of something. Do not go into any relationship with a married man because of frustration, it is only 1 in 30 women who dates married man because of frustration that enjoy and end it as she wishes. Choose to be strong and honorable. As you live upright and become a good model of womanhood, true love will find you. But this depends on you. Do not works with others watch but yours!

Are you in love with a married man, what do you intend to achieve in the relationship, do you enjoy it or does it goes according to your expectation? Take back your life if it is not favorable though you may not know if you do not evaluate yourself. However, it may be difficult like a drug addict during detoxification but your sacrifice will enhance your future marriage and motherhood.

The best advice for a woman in an affair with a married man is simple. Just try as much as possible to know what you are doing love has no boundary!

Codou Jobe.



He always calls me his wife

Lovelines,

There is a man that I love and he always calls me his wife. He does everything I ask him for me. There is a lady in my compound; he comes to her frequently this lady keep telling me that the man loves me. But it baffles me because the man has not a day tell me that he love me. How can I know that this man love me?

Fatou-dindin

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. According to Fiona MacLeod, ". heart is a lonely hunter that hunts on a lonely hill." Already you are impressed and has fell in love with this man without his direct approach.

So since you have feeling for him and he is not man enough to confront you, why don't you make it face-to-face anytime he comes to your compound. Ask him to sit down and look him direct in eyes then ask him "do you really love me," if he answer affirmative ask again why is he not man enough to tell you than sending someone. So wait no more seal the love with a silent kiss in a romantically way. Good luck!



She shows me unfriendly face

Lovelines,

I saw a girl whom I love so much but anytime I face her, she shows me unfriendly face. How can I approach her?

Alagie

Your problem is fear and Betrand Russel said "fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty." So to conquer fear is the beginning of confidence. Therefore to face her you have to be confidence and talk to her and make sure you compose yourself before her to avoid shivering and stammering. Avoid repetition of words, keep yourself to simple expression and do not promise, exaggerate or promote yourself beyond normal. Moreover read one of the past Lovelines issues on "how to approach a beautiful woman" or "the lady is yours approach her." Good luck!


I don't want to loose her

Lovelines,

I am 22 dating a 17-year-old girl. The relationship is just two-month-old. Prior my meeting her she was dating her cousin whom she has broken up with. The love I have for her is incomparable hence I never feel such for any girl in the past, which means I do not want to loose her to anyone.

My worry now is that the cousin wants her back because their parents were aware of their relationship; while my babe is not yield to his begging as at the moment. In brief, I am confused because I don't know what she will do at the end.

Sarjo

Your commitments to relationship sometime can decide you're loosing a love battle to a rival. If you are caring, lovely, humorous, respect, well compose without fake identity, constant, honesty and so on you will see your girlfriend dying for you. Because these and more is what woman need from their guy.

The moment you are lagging in one or two of the above attributes your relationship might gradually start to wobble. So it is left to you to improve yourself on these, make her happy always if she really loves you, you have nothing to fear about. Good luck!



I wish to marry her

Lovelines,

I am dating a girl that loves me so much and with all my heart if things go according to the plan I wish to marry her. The problem is she never call me or text me I am the one that always calls and texts her. But I am not convinced that she love me like I did.

Barrister

Well, 'skepticism' they said 'is the first step toward truth.' But since you said she "loves you so much" what you need between two of you now should be understand. One thing you can do is to challenge her first send her free scratch cards for about 2 or 3 times take note of how many times she will call or text you.

If she does not call or text keep quiet for a week if nothing happen sit down with her and ask her the reason why she do not like call or text you. Tell her how essential her call to you is. If no genuine reason or improve on this then your assumption is right. Good luck!



She is not calling me

Lovelines,

I have been in love with a girl for three years now but I am seeing some changes in her behavior by not calling and visiting me regularly as she used to do.

Maan

Try to follow my opinion on Barrister's issue. Good luck!



Is there a woman for marriage?

Lovelines,

I am a single man age 29. Can I get a good looking lady of 29-40 to marry?

Zek

Why did you like to marry woman that is very older than you? Do not tell me as handsome as you are you couldn't get discipline and beauty damsel out there. Anyway reader if you worth his choice do as usual Lovelines is waiting for your call. Good luck!



I can't stop loving her

Lovelines,

I really love my girl friend. I see her everyday. Sadly she does not love me anymore. My problem is that I can't stop loving her.

Barry J

There must be a reason for her not loving you anymore. So you have to know the reason why she refuses to continue loving you. If there is no reason for this, I will say try one or two more times to talk to her and let her know how crazy you are about her. If she refuses still, forget about her and try to grow. Good luck!



Her mother kicks against my first kola nut

Lovelines,

It is 10 years now that I have been dating a girl. We love and cherish each other. Just a year ago I sent the first kola nut but the mother against it and wanted the daughter to marry from her tribe but the father have no problem against me. She is 22 while I am 29.

Abdoul-Karim

You have no fear on this issue hence the father did not against your marrying his daughter. Since the girl really want to marry you, try to consult the Imam and few of the elders in the mosque in their area to come and talk to her mother on your behalf.

It is not easy to see a girl that you had been cherish and nurse since the age of 12 years to go or be taken away like that since there is no problem between two of you. Hold tight the girl's father, he surely understand your feeling for his daughter as a man. Tribe or no tribe we are one. Had it been it is a 'toubab' that come forward to marry her mother will never kicked against the decision, so fight for your love. Good luck!



I want her as my fourth wives

Lovelines,

I am 42 a married man with 3 wives. Recently I decided to take fourth wives since I have found a lady that I love who will and accepted to marry me. We are both Muslim and she understands my marital status.

I have discussed with her parents but they against my intention of marrying their daughter with the sole reason that I have 3 wives already. Everyone in the family both mine and hers received and welcome my intention. Still the parents are denying me the lady. However this lady is not a spinster she was once married with 3 children.

Doudou

If really you still want to marry this woman it will be good if you can be patient and be in good term with her parents. In mine opinion, I do not believe that it is because of your currently married to 3 wives that is behind your been denying to the woman you love to marry. Her parents might wish to show you that "there is no free will," so "to hang is most unjust" and "we hang because we must" Ambrose Bierce said it.

Will and wisdom are both mighty leaders. So try as much as possible to know that "there is will to do and there is soul to dare." Whatever the case may be discuss more with her parents, a lady who has already 3 children in her first marriage before taken a final free will decision to re-marry another man is no more a nonentity when it comes to marriage or facing rivals in her matrimonial home.

It is like helping the parents hence you are going to take good care of their grandchildren and their daughter whom you are fighting to marry. Let the lady follow her heart there are many ladies outside who are spinsters that her looking for a husband how much more a married but divorce lady. Again search your soul if you are able to do accordingly as Holy Quran prescribed and consult your to be in-law to let you have the woman. Good luck!



She wants a break

Lovelines,

I got a gal whom we both love each other. I went to her house with too much problems on my head because I just lost my job in which she knows. She acted strangely to me compare to the lovely babe I known her to be when I was working. Now she is angry with me and demands for a break between us.

Salam

Kick away this girl because she will never stay or wait to endure with you. Remember a friend in need is a friend in deed. This is the time you really need her if she now decide for a break which means she is interested in the money you are bringing from your work. But if you need for better I stay and for worse I go partner you can continue with her. Good luck!



Without him my life is incomplete

Lovelines,

There is this guy I love so much although we met few months back. But it seems like without him I have an incomplete life. At first we were friends till I recognized that I love him and I told him. Every thing was going on fine but all of a sudden many things are changing between us.

Any little misunderstanding will result into quarrel. I always apologize to him in order to remain in the relationship. Moreover he does not reciprocate my love.

Atta

It is a pity that you love someone that does not reciprocate your love as you wish. At the same it is difficult to forget someone that you love from the inner most part of your heart. However, I will enjoin you to find out from him what he take you for and if he really love and if he does not have any feeling for you let him tell you so that you can focus and move forward in order to see better guy that will make you a complete babe. Good lucks!



She is rude

Lovelines,

I do not understand my girlfriend, because when I call her sometimes she will answer me nicely sometime she will be very rude. I do not know what to do about this.

Abdou

The problem is that both of you do not understand yourselves. Try as much as possible to know and understand each other. Know your does and don't, study her mood at the same time correct her in whatever she did and you do not like. Do not forget to equally apologize when you offended her. Good luck!

Have you any love issue bothering your mind that you will like to share? Call/text 7790689, 6560592 or email: yunus2kay@yahoo.com. A problem shared, is a problem solved.