Lovelines
I am a young single lady. I would like to meet a man of my dream. It is a long time since I started looking forward to this. Every woman thinks all men are the same because of young women's experiences at the hands of men. They pretend to be saint but what is on their minds are more than you can think of. Lovelines, how will I meet a sincere and caring one?
(Name withheld)

She is a beautiful and intelligent lady in her 20s. She needs a mature guy who is handworking, caring, loving, respectful, down to earth and God fearing as a partner. If you are the type that needs just an ordinary girlfriend, please do not bother yourself to call or text me in asking for any information. But if you are determined, serious and think you meet the above criteria my line is open for you to get in touch. Good luck!

Loveline,
 I am 32, due for and thinking of marriage but my problem is who to marry. My parents are of different tribes. Each wants me to marry from their tribe with their personal reasons, although they are not bent on this.

However, I have been dating a girl for 9 months and I proposed to marry her during one of our conversations. I fixed the date for two months from then., but she said the time was too prompt and  suggested six months without a specific reason for her pushing it forward.

Due to that I reduced my visiting and communication with her because I suspected that something was going on in her mind. I raised the issue with her when she visited me one day. Her response to it was, "I have nothing against us getting married even tomorrow, but my only worry is the size of your family as there will be too much work to do."

I was very unhappy with her response because I felt 'if you love someone you should be able to cope in any situation you find yourself." She later sent her friend to tell me that it was a 'slip of the tongue' because she did not mean it. I hate to see her because my conscience can't condole it.

My worry and question is should I compare and contrast between the ones my parents suggested for me? If yes, who will you prefer or should I still look for someone else of my choice?
Champ-Boy

Really, I am interested in your text message. I took enough time to read through the pages. If I must tell you the truth, despite the fact that the girl has sent her friend to tell you that it was a "slip of the tongue", I would like you to know that she has told you the truth. And this is one among orther things that cause problem or havoc in marriages among youths of today.

You should not take this as offence but as a 'bitter truth.' To have a good matrimony, when you get married, you are supposed to leave your family alone and be on your own to build your family. Although in West Africa, some countries are very much in for extended family in which The Gambia is not exceptional. I will not go deep in to this. Note that before she told you this she had succeessfully seen and learnt more about your family size and everyone there. Let me tell you one thing, we do not marry to suffer in order to comfort someone else.  But we marry to build our family and live happily together. But marry a wife and bring her in the midst of a big and extended family for that matter, is like introducing the lady into a slavery.

This is due to the handful of work and different characters that she will confront when she get to the family. Such wife, in her early age she will grow older than her age whilst you are roaming about looking for another young girl to marry. This is the fact that she might not be compatible with you in appearance anymore. Answering your question, I will advise you to think very well because you have shown your interest in this lady, this has warranted you to propose to her during your conversation.

You only need to sit down and plan if you want to marry and remain staying in the family's house or to build your own family. I will tell you one secret; you either marry another woman of your choice or those chosen for you by your parents. So far as their expectations are not met or fulfilled you will come back to square one. You can still call Lovelines for more information. Good luck!


Lovelines
There is this particular girl I have been dating for 9 years. She is my first love and both of us loved each other so much. For some good years of our active love I was faithful to her until I met another girl. I continue having secret affairs with this new girl until my first girlfriend found out. On several ocassions she advised me as a good lover to think of what I am doing.

I told her to give me time, that I would leave the girl because I know what I was doing.  However, my relationship with the latter brought endless problems between my first girlfriend and I. I tried to avoid this girl because I wanted to marry my first love. Before I take a positive action, she has slipped off my hands. She told me she could not continue with me while I am cheating and dating another girl.

I am confused because I have tried in different ways to win her love back but all in vain. At the same time I could not continue with the latter girl anymore because she behaved abnormally. Recently, a girl declared her love for me but this girl is like a sister to me. She always gives me wonderful gifts every other day. She was crying and felt shattered when I told her that she is like a sister to me. I am in deep dilemma because I do not know what to do, as I want my first love back.
A-Akeem

In your message I can see that you have admitted your mistake before you are being told. Men fond of saying: 'I know what I am doing, or I am in control, everything will be alright," even if they are going off track.

It is when they finally find themselves in a mess that they realise their  mistake. Well, I will not hesitate to let you know that your 9 years relationship with the lady has gone for good, because you did not value her. Not that you do not know her value but because of your lust for women, you gave her away. She could have come back if she had not find a passionate, caring, lovely and respectable man.

Even if she comes back, there will never be a sound and smooth love between her and you again because there will be no trust anymore. Moreover, with a 9-year relationship without marriage; I don't think any good thing can come out of it again if you start dating again. So put everything behind you and look forward for a fruithful dating and marriage. You have another chance, do not blow it up - the lady who confessed her love for you if she is serious. Good luck!

Sweet heart
Trouble arrives in measures and we stack it up real high until we're convinced, we have no reason to try if we feel defeated. Ignore the minor set backs that pile up and trouble you or you will build a mountain out of the stones hurled at you. The future holds great promise, your destiny unknown but God is always helping and you're never alone. Soar bravely toward your goal, let nothing darken the way you can change your tomorrow if you seek your dream today.
Manjang