Lovelines
I am very much in love with a man who also loves me dearly. Recently we have a baby out of wedlock. Since I delivered, neither did he come to see how I am doing together with our new baby nor did I did I hear from him. About two weeks ago, his friend came and told me that he (my child's father) is having a wife and children. He never told me or talked to me about this before. Sincerely, I love him but don't know what to do please.
Monica

I am not very clear about points in your text message. You did not state for how long you had been dating this man before your pregnancy. If I am to come in I will say you are a bit reckless because you allowed yourself to be carried away by emotional feeling. However, I will not blame nor judge until you are able to give me answers to those of my boubts as mentioned below:

Where did you always meet. Have you ever been to his house or see any member of his family? Did you ask about his family before this time? When you broke it to him that you were pregnant, what was his reaction and since the pregnancy what has been going on between you two? When did you see him last? What was the relationship agreement between you? What effort have you made to see this man before his friend came to you? And how close is he to the friend who told you about his marital status?

I will not also comment  on the love you claim to exist between  you unless you answer these questions. Text back or call Lovelines for opinion and what to do. Good luck!


Lovelines
I am a young man of 18, in love with a girl who had visited me regularly in the past. I asked her why she stopped visiting me, she answered that someone told her mum that she had been coming to my house everyday. And,she was harrassed by her parents over this. What should I do, I can't break up with her because I definitely love her and she loves me too.
Bashirou

I am not against your dating because you are no more under-18 but I will advise you not to allow dating to dominate all your precious time. Her parents complained about her movement because they have good plans for her. They want her to be useful to herself and gain self-dignity. The girl may be under-18, and in that case her regular visit to your bunk will not do any good to both of you except harm. Both of you have to control yourselves. As the saying goes: 'Slow and steady   win the race'. Try as much as possible to reduce the pace at which you are going.

It is obvious that when two young people are in love, it intoxicates them and it may as well damage their careers. Especially where there is no one to put them under countrol. Thank God her parents  are there to do this. So sort it out well with her the time of visits which should not be everyday; perhaps once in one or two weeks. Good luck!


Lovelines
It is close to one year now since I started dating a guy. At the beginning, our dating was splendid, but recently it has become sour. This is due to the fact that he does not call or return my calls anymore. When I challenged him about this, he said that few years ago he suffered a great heartbreak, which has made him find it difficult to trust and stick to one woman or remain in a relationship for a long time.

He however assured me of his love and his wish to stay and stick to me if only I can help him gain trust in himself and women once more. But I found myself revolted by the fact that he is dating other girls along side with me. Yes, I love him but I feel I can no longer trust him. How can I go about this?
Hajie-Fatou

Well it is not easy to reform a man when he is not straightforward or sober. You can only try by controlling him.By controlling him you might be able to reform him. Hence if  you are unable to control him forget about reformation. He is the one that needs to reform himself through efforts you are putting towards the reformation. That he has once suffered heartbreak from a woman does not mean he should mess up his life by running after everything under the skirt. What he probably term to be revenge, life or enjoyment is destruction.

He might not know this now but sooner or later he will know. He should remember that allowing his feeling to overcome his emotion for women is not hatred but a childish and devil acts. So there is no much you can go about this than to let him know that he is wasting his time and opening his life to danger especially his health. If you cannot condone his having affairs with other ladies, quit and never look back until you are sure that he is sober. Good luck!


Lovelines
I love my boyfriend so much but my parents do not allow me to go out. What will I do?
Mariama

It depends on your age and the trust they have in you. If you have proven to them that you are a good, obedient and trustworthy daughter, they would not restrict your movement. But if they found out that you are wayward or irresponsible, they will surely act before you disappoint them.

At the same time if you continue to stay longer hours outside without a tangible reason, they will definitely restrict your movement. So, if you want to be free you have to proof to them that you are a reliable, disciplined and trustworthy child. Good luck!