In a letter written by John Keats to his lover, he stated in it “I cannot exist without you. I am forgetful of everything but seeing you again. My life seems to stop there. I see no further. You have absorbed me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I were dissolving…” it continues.

Letter(s) of such nature is very sweet to write and read when you already have or just found the love of your heart be it a man or woman. But what about when you are growing from your early thirties and rise up to late thirties as a woman and as a man from your mid-thirties to forty plus still without a partner you have settle down with? Big question that required simple and personal answer.

At this age most of your buddy, family, friends; even colleagues would be troubling you to get marry. This is because your friends, school/course mates, relatives are in a steady relationship while you are still searching or beginning to wonder whether something is wrong with you because you are still spinster or bachelor without sign of getting out of singlehood hook.

This will become a pressure especially when among your close friends or best friend got married. ‘Who’s next? Always be the question because you will always bury your head in shame and occupied your mind with imagination, illusion and sometime illation. Although you might sometimes pretence and say it is not an obligatory to get marry at early age. You will always say that for an excuse just to escape and avoid family or peer pressure but deep down your heart it is a sorrowful thing.

This pressure can let you make an irredeemable mistake in your love life probably if you cannot withstand or handle the pressures from family and friends over the issue of ‘get marry.’ Because some people are settling just to belong in the class of the married people. So this mistake can lead to what can be referred to as ‘garbage in, garbage out.”

However, talking about settling down or getting marry women feels the pressure more than the men because pressures come on to women left and right, front and back. Women have no genuine excuses to give but men excuses are sometimes considerable.

Where exactly are pressures coming from? From family, friends, colleagues, peers among others. Some will even make it in a form of mockery by parading their wedding rings, babies, talk about their wives and husbands, and as well poke nose into your affairs though their less concern but would like to show how concerned they are.

This is our fathers’ land, Africa for you and me; women are the lead targets. Let us looks clearly first on them, once a woman is getting closer to 30 the pressure begins, reaching the age of 30 the pressure increases. Society is not helping the matter, as you will always witness one or more flamboyant marriages and christening ceremony if not every 72 hours but every weekend.

One thing most parents do not put into consideration or remember is that your missing rib or good partner does not fall off from the sky like snow. Neither it is like a beautiful snail you can search and pick up in the garden in your house. For some men, choice/indecision, honest, trustworthy, ambition and finance always keep them abaft to get marry and as time goes on they found it difficult to get a good partner for themselves. Still pressures will flow in but not like the pressures on women.

If you are anyway in shoes of men that have not find their missing ribs or women that still not find their matching ribs do not give chance to depression. All you need to do is to make yourself happy, focus and be yourself because finding and choosing a partner requires patience.

Therefore, what you need to know is that you should not allow peer pressure to push you towards something you are not ready for. As we can see around today, some men or women are getting marry because their friends, colleagues, peers are getting marry and have married. Engage on something that can improve your life rather than focusing on loneliness.

Well loneliness hurt! All I am saying is that it is better you discover yourself through learning, furthering education better still engage in extracurricular activities. As you trying to unwind the right one might surely crept in. This will help you to avoid loneliness and take your mind off being single or pressure.

To achieve better result in dating, use a sensible approach by not rushing. Love, family and dating counselors recommended some vital steps that can be followed by single people that are seeking partner in their life. According to them re-examine your past relationships to know why they did not work. So look at things critically and honestly to allow you learn from the mistakes.

Secondly, be yourself. It is when you be your original self and knows who you are that you will have no fear of judgment or before the world starts pushing you around and telling you who you are supposed to be. Do not be fictitious to avoid been pleasing everyone because it does not work if you are looking for a lasting relationship.

Thirdly, relationship experts say try not to be someone you are not. A common mistake many single people make is that they try to change themselves for the person they are dating. When you do that, you are not being true to yourself and it will bite you in the rear at long runs.

Fourthly, you have to decide what kind of person you are looking for and put yourself in a target-rich environment. If for example you are looking for a man who loves the outdoors, go there. And if you are not looking for a barfly, do not go to bar to meet someone.

Number five recommended point is that you do not need to be in a relationship to be everything. So it is better to be happy alone than sick with someone else. The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself.

The sixth number is that you should not put pressure on yourself because you do not have to be married before you can be happy. So halt saying negative words against yourself.

The seventh point is to ask yourself this question that is ‘are you available?’ You have to look at your life and ask yourself if you even have time to meet someone. Or whether you are the one making yourself unavailable through different defenses or excuse.

The last for this week that is number eight is that you should not be desperate – meaning you should not make it do or die issue.