Love and marriage: A happy marriage is built upon a sound foundation
Friday, August 03, 2012
As a follow
up to last week’s topic ‘in search of a life partner’ this week we continue
with ‘love and marriage’ as ordained by the Almighty Allah. Therefore
Lovelines goes one step further by asking the views of few Islamic scholars on
this very important subject.
According to them Allah says: “And we have made for them spouse and progeny.” The Holy prophet, Muhammad (SAW), said: “I swear by Allah. I am the most God-fearing and devout person among you; nevertheless I fast, I pray as well as rest of you, and I marry women. Whoever desires something other than my sunnah is not from me.”
Getting married is a response to Allah’s call, where He says: “Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among your slaves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will enrich them from His bounty: for Allah encompasses all, and He knows all things.”
It also could be a response to the Prophet’s call, when he says: “O assembly of young men, whoever among you has the wherewithal to marry should do so, because it helps to lower the gaze and safeguard the chastity of the private parts. Whoever is not able to marry must fast, because fasting diminishes sexual power.”
This is why Umar said: “Whoever calls you to eschew marriage is calling you to something other than Islam.” The Prophet (PBUH) elevated marital life and intimacy between a husband and wife to the level of worship, saying: “when one of you has relations with his wife, it is an act of charity. None of you spends anything without Allah rewarding you for it, even a morsel of food that you place in your wife’s mouth.”
A happy marriage is built upon sound foundations, and it has the potential to strengthen a nation, renewing the vigor of its youth more, providing it with robust future generations. The Prophet (PBUH) said again: “Marry fertile and loving women, for I would have our population increased in this way.” A happy marriage is also an opportunity for different families to come together and for people of different cities and land to know one another.
A love-happiness relation study was conducted by a psychologist, and it revealed that ‘women were more likely to be completely happy than men, and that they were also more likely to be utterly miserable than their men counterpart. If a woman enjoys the essential of a happy life – a good home, an upright husband, children, and health – then she is likely to be happy and contented. But if he is denied the right, he can easily succumb to depression and despair to a degree that men are unlikely to ever experience.’
success and failure in marriage is a very subjective issue. What one person
sees as a successful marriage, another man might view as a total failure.
Nevertheless, there are some factor which are generally agreed upon which can
be used as a basis for discussion.
For instance, a marriage wherein the wife ha no respect for her husband and no concern for his reputation a hardly be seen as a successful marriage. Likewise, no one would dare attempt to describe a successful marriage where the husband neglects his household and abandons his wife and children in order to pursue his personal interests.
A marriage might start off successfully, and then fail. Alternatively, a marriage might start off as a failure, but with the effort of both spouse, end up right. What I desired is for marriage to be away for people to find security and happiness. The most successful of marriages is the marriage that provides worldly happiness while helping to facilitate our happiness in the hereafter.
Steps for marital happiness
Try to know the obstacles that people must confront in their married life, the factor that lead to failure, and how to overcome them. Cultivate your reliance upon Allah and your awareness that He love u. Having such awareness is one of the causes of salvation.
How to develop your willpower
willpower; the following questions might help reach the solution to this.
promptly do I embark upon good and virtuous deeds? How
optimistic am I?
How patient and forbearing am I when faced with problem How well do I control my anger?
How to strengthen your willpower
You must strengthen your faith in Allah. You must focus on cultivating your faith in His most noble attribute and in His dine determination of all affairs. You must strive to purify your souls and must engage in as much worship as you can.
Psychologist have confirmed that using a systematic approach of self-inspiration is the most effective way to strengthening your willpower. An Islamic program of restoring marital bliss would have to include the following:
Transformation of pain into happiness and of adversity into opportunity by being content with Allah’s decree. Supplication and penitence. How many obstacles to marital bliss have been overcome with prayer.
Looking at matters in a simple way. Experience has shown us that the more simple and straightforward view we take, the easier our problems are to solve. We should not go overboard in our depiction of our circumstances and our complaints. We should not seek to blacken the past. Our goals can only be reached by remaining levelheaded and patient.
Establishing a proper time and place for frank and open discussion where each party is mentally prepared to listen to what the other has to say and to speak in a calm and decent manner. Many problems can be discussed because openness brings relief.
Author: Yunus Saliu