The prophet (SAW) has laid stress on the rights of parents and duties of children, in the same way as he has stressed the rights of children and the duties of parents.

To be obedient to parents;
And to show kindness to them has been enjoined along with the oneness and worship of Allah, in the Holy Quran, in such a manner that it appears that among human deeds to obey parents and treat them with respect and kindness is next only to divine worship.  The Quran says in Sura Bani Israali: “Your Lord (the creator) has ordained that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to the parents.”

Parents are the Heaven and Hell of the children
In a hadeeth the prophet (SAW) has said that the parents of a person are his Heaven or Hell. This shows that if a person obeys his parents and attends to their needs and comforts and keeps them happy, he will attain Paradise. On the other hand, if he is rude and disobedient to them and offends them by ignoring their feelings or by causing them grief in any other way, his place shall be in Hell.

Pleasing the parents causes Allah’s pleasure. Anyone who seeks to please Allah should earn the good pleasure will lead to Allah’s anger and displeasure. The prophet (SAW) has said “in the good pleasure of the father lies the good pleasure of the creator and in his displeasure lies the displeasure of the creator.”

Here the mother has not been mentioned but according to many other aheedeeth, the right of the mother with regard to service and kind treatment is even higher than of the father. Therefore her pleasure or displeasure will carry an equal significance. Curse for not looking after aged parents. The time that the parents need to be looked after most pleasing to Allah and it is an ease he doesn’t earn paradise (by being kind-hearted and dutiful to them).” Therefore anyone who gets an opportunity to serve his parents in their old-age and does not avail himself to it (to attain paradise) undoubtedly he is a most wretched person.

Serving the parents is preferable to jihad
When the parents of a person are in need of his help and attention, then it is preferable for him to serve them than to go jihad. A person once came to the prophet (SAW) and said that he wanted to participate in the jihad. The prophet asked him “are your parents alive?” “Yes, they are alive” he replied. The prophet (SAW) said “then strive in their service and assist them at the time of their need. (This is your jihad).”

Perhaps there was reason for the prophet (SAW) to believe that the parents of the person concerned were in need for help and attention that is why he told him to go and take care of them because in these circumstances service to the parents was more important. However it must not be misunderstood that anyone whose parents are alive should not take part in jihad and that only those whose parents have died, should do so. In fact, the parents of many of the sahaaba who took part in jihad were living.

The mother’s claim is greater
Abu Hurairah (RA) narrates that a person asked the prophet (SAW) “who has the greatest claim on one with regard to service and kind treatment?” The prophet (SAW) replied, “your mother, and again your mother, and once again your mother. After her, is the claim of your father, then that of your near relations, and then that of your near relations, and then of the relations next to them.” This obviously shows that where care and kind treatment are concerned, the claim of the mother is greater than that of the father. It appears to be same in the Quran too. In many instances, the pain and the suffering, which the mother has to bear during pregnancy, at child birth and in the bringing-up of the children, has been mentioned along with the emphasis of expressing kindness to parents.

Paradise lies at the mother’s feet
In one ahadeeth the prophet (SAW) has clearly stated that a person’s paradise lies at his mother’s feet. By serving her well and being obedient to her, one can attain paradise. In some other ahadeeth the prophet (SAW) has explained that serving the mother, the maternal aunt and maternal grandmother are among the acts by whose piousness even the repentance of a great sinner and evildoer is accepted and he is forgiven.

Treatment towards polytheist parents
If anyone’s parents are polytheists and they want to follow their faith, he should refuse but he should continue to be kind and respectful to them.

Asma Ibn Abu Bakr (RA) relates that her mother had come to Madinah from Makkah to meet her. Her mother followed the pagan customs and beliefs, so Asma (RA) enquired from the prophet (SAW) as how she was to treat her, whether she should have nothing to do with her, as she was a pagan or treat her like a daughter should and show kindness to her. The prophet told her to be kind and considerate and to behave towards her, as was a mother’s due, from a daughter.