The teen years might be the worst. Why? Rapid change of behaviour, growth, sexual maturity and a high degree to experiment.

It is all about emotionally unpredictability moods, hormones going crazy and rapid physical changes. During this time, a child evolves into an adult. In biological terms, the time starts with puberty, the phase when sexual reproduction first becomes a physical possibility and continues through the attainment of mental and social adulthood.

The teenage child continually strives to coordinate the physical, intellectual and psychological growth and to develop a fully formed ego identity and sense of self. During adolescence, the relationship between parents and children is challenged, stressed and gradually redefined. Adolescence needn’t be as perplexing and frustrating as you might initially think. Some fresh insights can help make a difference, and understanding the common characteristics of teenagers can help.

The character of teenagers
The three most important people in a teen’s life are me; myself and I. Adolescents are the creatures of their own universes and everything else that revolves around them. It’s fairly basic, but it cannot be said often enough. Teens want so much to discover who they are and to be accepted.

(1)  Physical growth: An adolescent’s body grows and develops faster than at any other time except for the first year of life. This growth occurs unevenly. Changes may occur relatively slowly during some of your teenage years and rapidly during the so-called growth spurt of preadolescence. On average, the growth spurt begins at about age 10 in girls and 12 in boys. Most boys grow faster than girls when the preadolescent growth spurt ends. The external changes caused by the preadolescent growth spurt are obvious; the body grows taller and heavier and its shape changes. The bones grow too, even the facial bones change, sharpening the features and transforming the face into that of an adult.

If you grow and develop either slower or faster than average, you are not alone. It is also normal to feel somewhat insecure about yourself at this time. It is important to remember that there is no standard timetable for growth and development during adolescence. Entirely normal teenagers mature at such widely varying rates. Acne (pimples) is so common in adolescence that almost all teenagers have it to some degree. It usually starts around puberty and disappears by the end of the teenage years.  In both boys and girls, it is caused by surges in production of hormones (called androgen hormones)

(2)  Sexual changes – Boys: During the teen years, the child’s body gains sexual maturity. Male changes include the development of the male hormones and the sexual organ, appearance of hair in the pubic area, under the arms and on the face, as well as deepening of the voice. As your larynx (voice box) develops, your Adam’s apple becomes more prominent. Your voice also starts to change, taking on a deeper tone. The period of sexual maturation usually starts a couple of years later in boys than in girls. Sexual changes in boys start any time between age 9 and 14.
Girls: Female changes include the development of the female sexual organs, breasts, appearance of hair in the pubic area and under the arms. The first visible change is breast budding – that is, the beginning of breast development.

The activity of sweat glands also increases in both sexes. Do not worry if one breast happens to start developing before the other, even if the difference in size persists for many months. During this period, you will experience menarche – that is, your first menstrual period. The advent of your first menstrual period means that it is now physically possible for you to become pregnant and bear a child. You can even get pregnant before then if you happen to ovulate before your first period.

Initial sexuality: As an adolescent, your sexual development has started. Along with it, your sexual feelings and fantasies increase. You may find it difficult to deal with these feelings, particularly if they seem to conflict with the attitudes that you have been taught about sex. At first you may retreat from emergence as a sexual being into the safety of friendship with members of the same sex. At the same time, you may find yourself intrigued by sexual matters and frequently seeking information about sex.   However, you have likely started sexual fantasis, daydreaming, masturbating or privately fondling your own sex organs for pleasure. Imagination is actively expanding.

(3) Intellectual growth and development:
During the teenage years, you also will do a great deal of thinking about what kind of person you are and who you will become. You will muse and then think seriously about what you do when you grow up. In early adolescence, you may set career goals that are idealistic, or even unrealistic beyond your given talents and abilities. You may imagine yourself as a rock star, best aeroplane pilot or president! Later in adolescence, you may set your thinking more practically, considering vocations that more immediately suit your abilities and interests. The merging of idle musings with practical planning is yet another part of the maturation process.

(4) Psychosocial growth, development of personality and behaviour
Much of your psychosocial development as an adolescent involves coping with the profound physical changes that your body is undergoing. You need to come to terms with your sexual development and the emotions that go with it. These stages are not easy. You may find yourself alternating between childish and adult behaviours.

Because your body changes quickly during adolescence, you might start feeling uncomfortable with your physical self.  During the teens years you are likely to be rebellious, behaving as if the whole world belongs to you (particularly in boys). You seem to challenge every action and have the urge to do bad things like smoking, drinking and sexual harassment. The female teenager changes mode of dressing particularly to those that show her beauty and makes her attractive to male. She starts having many male boys coming after her, disturbing and delivering all type of sweet talk.

Advice to teenagers
Why is it not uncommon for a young person to start smoking, drinking or even taking drugs during their teens? It usually begins in a peer group setting where you want to look cool and don’t want to say ‘no’ and risk facing rejection or ridicule. They might not feel right about their actions but the pursuit to gain acceptance and approval overrides that inner voice saying ‘don’t do it. That’s why it’s so important to have a good friend, healthy role models and positive self-esteem. That will give the confidence to say ‘no’ when it really counts.

As a teenager, you are likely to be motivated by pleasure, recreation, media, partying, advertising, curiosity and experimentation. Teenagers are also motivated by pushing limits and boundaries. You are very curious and the desire to experiment is very strong. Keeping calm and remaining consistent will help you through these testing times. This period is tempting and you can tarnish your future if you aren’t watchful and behave well. This is a period to take your education seriously and make it your number one priority. Be mindful with violence and sex.

Pleasures of life will come later in abundance provided you learn life and know how to go about them. You need your parents as ever. You need to take a stand and overcome the temptations associated with the rapid hormonal changes your body is going through. Don’t wait for people (parents, relations and teachers) to tell you what is right, remember it’s all ABOUT YOU, YOUR FUTURE, and so it’s up to you to emulate a good personality for a good ending later in life. Befriend good and healthy role models.    

What parents need to know about teens - facts, myths and strategies. There are many new things influencing teens today, but your parenting role is as important today as ever before. Spending time strengthening your relationship with your teen is the best investment in his/her future, just as it was when he/she was a child.

Your adolescent’s new way of acting may appal you; in fact, it may well be calculated to do so. If your teenage child is stubborn/rebellious, hold your ground. Keep stating your concerns and setting reasonable limits. Do not threaten punishment that you will not carry out. In most cases, with your firm handling, your teenager will outgrow this rebellious phase without doing any lasting damage to himself or herself or others. Even if your teenager has been rebellious, things usually change by the time he or she grows up and starts a family.

Your child is likely to return to the viewpoints that he or she learnt from you during childhood. With this in mind, try to prevent rifts during your child’s adolescence that will stand in the way of later reunion. As a parent, you remain the greatest influence on your teenager’s beliefs and behaviour, even more than his or her peers. Even when your child appears to be disagreeing with everything you say, he or she needs you to hold and defend your own reasonable and consistent view of the world.

Do not fully rely on the school to explain all the complexities of sexual relationships that you want your child to know. Well before your child starts sexual activity and when started, he or she needs your support and assistance in understanding sexual feelings, defining sexual behaviour and learning to respect himself or herself as well as others. Give advice on sexual matters (including their complications) to your child’s current phase of intellectual, psychosocial and moral development – Don’t use only scare tactics. Don’t assume that he or she is not interested. If you are unsure how to present the facts, it may help to suggest one to your child to read. You can also ask a physician or other trusted persons for help.

Parents should keep in mind that teenagers need personal space and room to move. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be involved and interested in their life – that’s vital. But don’t be obvious or overbearing. They will then be more likely to want to come and talk to you about what’s happening in their world. When your teens are worried or they don’t understand something, talk to them about it. Your reassurance and honesty will help them overcome their anxious feelings. Be on the alert for changes in attitude and behaviour. Maintain a sense of humour.   

Let your teen learn from the logical consequences of living. Avoid a relationship based only on reward and punishment. Make sure your teenager is developing the capacity to make decisions and accept responsibility for those actions: Examine the potential consequences of choices: choosing, and then accepting the responsibility for the choices they make. Model decision-making in your own life will be a valuable teaching tool.

Explain how and why you made the decision.  Give continued emotional support; it helps teenagers withstand peer pressure. Know who your young adult's friends are even in high school: accept the friendships, as long as you are certain that the friend in question is not influencing your child in a negative way. Encourage your teen's friends to come to your home so that you can get acquainted. Befriend their parents and share your children’s concern.

Note: Teenage pregnancy is definitely dangerous for a combination of factors. There are biological factors; the body is not ready, it is a growing body and the teenager is not psychologically and mentally prepared to raise a child. Mortality rates are four times higher for a pregnant teenager. The unborn child is at an increased risk too.

For girls falling into the age bracket of 12 to 15, it is even worse. Should they have live births, the infant is likely to die soon or face serious health challenges. Teenage mothers are less likely to gain adequate weight during their pregnancy, leading to low birth weight, which is associated with disorders, infant death, mother’s high risk of blood pressure and preeclampsia.

Conclusion
The teenage years are often regarded as the worst of times – but may also can be the best of time. It is true that teenagers have to cope with dramatic, physical and psychological changes. However, it is important to remember that all of life, from birth to death, is a process of change.

By teens understanding their character and by parents understanding their teen’s characteristics, needs and motivations not only will you better relate to each other but minimize some of your own frustrations during your teens’ turbulent adolescence. Adolescence can be a challenging time for young people and their families. A good relationship with your teenager will help you both to weather the ups and downs of life.

Reviewed and Approved by the GMDC. Comments, Opinion or Support, write to unigamsapress@yahoo.com