Beauty of the Week
I stand to be corrected here please help me out. There was a lady that we grew up together. We went to the same primary and high schools together. Outside school we are always together to the extent that we were called husband and wife and till date people still take us to be real husband and wife.
Despite of our closeness one of my cousins impregnated her sister in which I cannot even figure out how it happened between two of them, but this brought a standstill to our relationship that will later ended it. It was a decision from two of us anyway, but it was a very hard decision. We remain as good friend since then. To cut short the long story, she dated another man after me though it did not work out between them and they got separated and she got another man they married. The marriage didn’t last eighteen months because the man died. Since then she is back to the family house and the man she dated after me reconciled with her, but this man is always maltreating and abusing her. We are still best of friends that we still cannot do without seeing each other a day as usual. I am confused because we are attracted to each that now we cannot hide it from people. In a conversation recently, a statement ensued that she said had it been that I am the first to approached her after the death of her late husband, she will be glad. Though, I am having a girlfriend, but I really, really love her more than my girlfriend and I know she too loves me without reservation.
Really, you must be confused because something is trying kicking away the ball from you but the wave is also rolling it back to you. In life we all make mistake if not often but sometimes. You made or both of you made a mistake by taking a decision to break up when your cousin impregnated her sister. What I am trying to make you understand here is that you or both of you should not have break up because of the pregnancy. In the order way round I have seen that you truly love this lady and I will suggest if what you feel for her is far from infatuation then you should make it known to her and marry her. If she accepts marry you, and whatever of her as this might cure her heartbreak because she is presently with her former not by choice or happiness but just having someone to hang out with. With your explanation she doesn’t love him and you too don’t have full love for your girlfriend. So summon courage and let her know that your heart is with someone else. Though she loves you but she will understand the implication of marrying to you without you loving her. Being honest to her now will be very helpful to her. As far as you are always seeing your old lady friend and feel something for each other without demarcation, you are already dating it is just that there is no physical action or intimacy. If you want to proof me right or wrong read past edition of Lovelines on ‘lust.’ So it is better for four of you or let me cut it down to three, yourself, your girlfriend and old lady friend to get marry to who you love rather than to be with someone that loves another man or woman. Think of this. Good luck!
I Can’t Forget About Him
I am a young lady, 20 years old. I recently met with a young guy of 28 that we both boarded the same ferry from Barra to Banjul. We gradually become a lovebird. Our talk started on life and down to love and intimacy. I am really falling for him and the same thing for the man he said he loves me. I thought he’s genuine at first but he was later trying to leave me that I cried. He didn’t want to talk to me because he was trying to avoid me. He did not reply to my messages but when he replied he lied to me and it was very late. We talked about this till we had an argument. I was just mad at him but he later said “sorry to hurt you but you are taking this too serious but I have learned many things from you and I don’t want to leave like this…’ He eventually back off and I cannot stand it anymore because I really don’t prepare myself for this. It is getting to two weeks now I don’t talk to him, no chat and ‘am missing him badly. I cannot stop myself from missing him, also I cannot remain missing him.
Well, in your message there is a missing point that can be interpreted into two things which I might be wrong. That missing point is his message to you that “….I learned many things from you and I don’t want to leave like this…” Well, he might learn good things from you and the same time he might learned some lessons from you that he thought both of you are not compatible. This can be your behavior and attitude to relationship. Anyway, it is just a friendship that is not up to forty days so what you are feeling now might be infatuation. Whatever might be the case, I understand your emotional pain that you are going through because everything is sudden. Well, sometimes this type of relationship doesn’t last because most love start intensely and dies abruptly. Yours is one of them. So, put this behind you and stop grieving about to enable you move forward. That’s the only way you can stop missing him. Good luck!
Something is Lacking in Our Marriage
I have been married for 3 years and my wife simply cannot still communicate well with me, especially when she’s not with me. Currently, she’s abroad studying and she’s staying for a whole year. She is not calling unless she is totally free and she hardly replies call or even text messages. Her main excuse always is I am busy. This lack of communication in our marriage doesn’t seem to have an end. She admitted it and promised to change. But it has been like this for 3 years since we got married. It is really eating me up. How can I get her to call me often because our child and I are missing her?
Going straight to the point there like you have mentioned inadequate communication in your marriage did not just start now that she is outside the country. Since you noticed this earlier you should have address it long time before now. However, both of you need to discuss over this and possible the problem might be from you. This is because if you are the type that doesn’t give your wife any breathing space or always like to be on her, check about his movement every minute, what she is doing every moment, who and who she’s with, what she should do or not to do when she is not with you or like monitoring everything about her. Another thing that might be the reason might be due to the nature of her job. However, try as much as possible to reflect your mind back to how this situation started since you got married three years ago. It can help you to solve the situation. Anytime she is able to call you from her free time, try to talk about some hilarious things, don’t be too rigid or be a dictator on phone. Talk to her about new things and something that will make her happy. So avoid complaining and some other similar things that can worsen heart. So, that she will always be happy to talk to you rather than afraid of you. Good luck!