I Don’t Know What to Say!

I Don’t Know What to Say!

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Beauty of the Week

LOVE LINES BEAUTY OF THE WEEKLovelines,

Sometime back I tried to chat with a lady.  But recently I was able to have a moment with her. I approached her, but was not comfortable especially with her response because I had nothing to say to convince her. When I approached her, she told me that she is dating. When she said she’s dating, I really did not have anything to say. Can you help me have her in my life?

Tamou

I have nothing to say either. But on a serious note, I think you will opt for friendship. Become her good friend and probably in future you might have the dice on your side by turning the friendship into a relationship. According to Gillian Anderson, “…the best relationships – the ones that last are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship as one day you will look at the person and see something more than you saw before …. And the person, who was just a friend, is the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.” Think about this. Good luck!

In a long term relationship with a

womaniser

Lovelines

I really don’t know what to call my guy, a flirt or a womaniser, but all I know is that he has been cheating on me since we met over three years ago. Since then, I have not enjoyed this relationship continuously for two weeks without sadness and still I just keep holding on to it. This is with the hope that one day it will be good if not better. My man runs after women like flies  fly after farmers when going to the farm very early in the morning in the wet season. He is so clever that he always tried to maneuver the situation each time I caught him, though he always maneuvered me when we just started the relationship. Then I really believed in him because I didn’t know him much. But as time went by, I got all his tactics as I knew him to be a smart liar when it comes to dating . Oh my God, believe me if your wife or sister smiles wherever he talks he will have ‘love intoxication.’ He will look for how to chase her to make the rest become a story. This is the man I have been engaging for over three years, I am tired! All along I have  been trying to make the relationship work but to no avail. I definitely love him, but tell me with this flirtatious life of his, do you think he ever values what we share because I don’t want to lose him, yet am tired. Tell me what to do.

Jarry

I will borrow from my colleagues in the office the term ‘umbilical cord’. So I will ask if there is an ‘umbilical cord’ between you that you don’t want to cut. You said you don’t know what to do but I think   you know what to do, just that you don’t want to do it for the fear that you will lose him. It is better to walk away from a relationship that you are not happy in than hanging on and languishing in a daily sorrow. You better stop worrying over him and tell him the truth. Let him know you cannot continue as usual because you can’t marry a man who you do not or cannot trust and feel happy with. This is because when your relationship is filled with fear, sorrow, or uncertainty, you will never be happy. You have to evaluate the relationship because it is obvious that what worries you does not worry him. You know him to be a womaniser, what will give you the assurance that if you eventually get married after one or two children, he will not go out there in search of others. This is because you cannot reform him and make him concentrate in the marriage, since you could not do it for the past three years. So have a time out on your own; look at it in two ways to know if the happiness of this three-year relationship outweighs the sorrow and viz-a-viz.  I know you will not be able to cope with his womanising attitude. You are coping for now because you need the relationship by all means, pardon me for my word (because of desperation). To cut it short, you will not be able to live with him since he does not respect your feelings; he may never consider your emotions and what you deserve. So what you need to do is to walk away from this hence things are not as you want them to be. Only you can make the relationship work. Good luck!

My fiancée wants to sponsor

our marriage

Lovelines,

I am six years older than my fiancée. We are truly in love but her parents are now disturbing her. They want her to marry someone else. She does not like her parents’ idea as she really wants to marry me. I am working but not earning enough to take care of us. Now she proposed to sponsor our marriage and I don’t know if I should accept it or not.

Abbey

Her suggestion is not a bad one, but it is you who needs to do something to help yourself and your union. She has a good intention but get this into your skull: never marry when you cannot feed yourself talkless of another person. While her might not be bad, as a man you don’t want to start depending on a woman to do everything or head the family. You are just a little over thirty, why don’t you get some other things to do. If you are a graduate, this is summer time; from now use your brain to add to your earning; start organising study classes for school going children. Who said you  you cannot do petty trading in the office like your female colleagues are doing. You have to wake up;  perhaps her parents want her to  be married to someone else because they know your status already. It is not their fault; I cannot blame them because they don’t want their daughter to suffer. Remember there is nothing bad if a woman sponsors a marriage ceremony, but there should be no condition attached to it.

I want to let you know that in your own case you need to buckle up here; she wants to sponsor it because she does not want to be another man’s wife ; that’s the condition. Good luck!

It hurts me!

Lovelines,

I don’t know how to forgive my so-called fiancé. I love him but I think he is not open to me as  I am to him. I let him know everything about me. We have been dating for over four years and he promised to marry me. All these while, I had been sleeping and waking on this empty promises that never materialised until two days before the ‘Koriteh’  when I knew that my fiancé is someone who only pretends. He has a special phone and a number that is accessed by only him. On this day, he called me to accompany him to buy something for his family. After the pricing as he was about to pay, he mistakenly handed over this phone to me. It was on silence but the light came on indicating an incoming call. He didn’t notice this but when I looked at it I realised that he saved the number as DEAREST. I walked away smartly as if I was pricing other materials just to get the number, which I succeeded doing. I was not comfortable but I waited till after the Koriteh holiday just to know if he knew I saw the number. But he didn’t. When I resumed work I called the number while I was alone to know more about this ‘DEAREST’. But the response I got hurt me to the marrow. The person disclosed her identity to me. It is a woman who has a five-year-old daughter with my so-called fiancé. When I asked him, he confirmed it! I was in darkness all along. I wasted not only my resources on him, but also my time because I have waited for so long on empty promises. It hurts me! Please tell other ladies out there the truth about some of these men. We should not all be a victim of them always. In our society, when a woman betrays a man, the whole community makes it a subject, but when a man does it, it is kudos to him. Why?

(Name withheld)

 

Read Lovelines’ response to this in our subsequent edition. Good luck!